I'm Bored -- Someone Send Me an Internet

July 3, 2006 - 12:00am -- swingbug

Here's a few choice quotes from Senator Ted Stevens from Alaska explaining why he voted against an amendment promoting net neutrality in the telecommunications bill currently being batted around in the Senate:

"I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why? Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially."

Wow! I wish people would send me internets. That'd be cool! You know what's scary? Some poor geek has to provide technical support to this man. You have my sympathies, whoever you are out there.

"Maybe there is a place for a commercial net but it's not using what consumers use every day."

Clearly Senator Stevens slept through basic econ in high school. Let's educate him, shall we? A consumer is "one that acquires goods or services for direct use or ownership" and commercial relates to the buying and selling of such goods. One might go so far as to call them inter-related concepts. And while we're educating, will someone please explain to this man that his email was not delayed because someone in Wisconsin was trying to buy a blender off amazon.com last night?

"They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck."

Not information! Good God no! We don't want the public to get their hands on that! But seriously, I'm glad that someone on the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation can tell the difference between the internet and a truck. I feel reassured and well-cared for.

I have an idea. Maybe if you can't use the word "internet" properly in a sentence, then you shouldn't be allowed to chair the senate committee in charge of its fate. Just a thought.

You can read the entire text of the good Senator's little speech here, but I promise you these comments don't make anymore sense in context.

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